Those who ever followed this blog (all 3 of you!) know that I only blog when something is weighing on my mind. Broken legs, insomnia, etc. Well...something is on my mind. Character. I consider myself a good person. I want good things for the world. I care about what happens to people. I am the spokesperson for good character. I tell my students "Doing the right thing is hard." I share every example I can find proving that good character is doing the right thing even when you think no one is watching.
However, I've had a couple of tiny tests of my character lately. So far the score is My Character: 2, The Easier Choice: 0. I'm not bragging. It was hard. That's the point of this post.
char·ac·ter
ˈkariktər/
noun
- 1.the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual."running away was not in keeping with her character"
synonyms: personality, nature, disposition, temperament, temper, mentality,makeup; More
verb
archaic
- 1.inscribe; engrave.
Test 1: I ordered my dad an OU laptop bag for Christmas. 1 bag. 1 really cool OU laptop bag. When the order arrived I was surprised to find one plastic bag containing 6 really cool OU laptop bags. No invoice, no return shipping label. Just 6 really cool OU laptop bags. Immediately I thought of all of the other OU fans who would be getting an extra gift this year...my sister, my husband, my coworker, my extended family. I DON'T EVEN LIKE OU. But! It was going to be a giant pain to contact the company, try to explain, get return information -- I might even have to pay out of my own pocket to get these extra bags shipped back. And then, I looked at my sweet 4-year-old and I knew I could never look him in the eye and say "What would be the right thing to do?" ever, ever, ever and so I began trying to contact the company. It took some extra effort on my part, but I did eventually get a return label from the company, made an extra trip to the post office and got those extra 5 bags shipped back. Look, I told you it was a tiny test of character. I realize I'm no saint, but again, the point is that doing the right thing is hard.
Test 2: Chad and I were out today and, if you're anywhere near Dallas, TX, you know that it is ridiculously windy out. Warm and windy. Really, really, really windy. We headed out on a quick Target run for stuff we didn't have to have today, but we all wanted out of the house and that's besides the point so anyway...after we parked, Chad went to open the door and the wind caught it. The door hit the car next to us hard. HARD. It wasn't just a door ding, it was a door...vertical line in the shape of a Hyundai Santa Fe driver's side door ding. Our first instinct (unfortunately) was to drive off and park elsewhere while we decided what to do.
No one would ever know. It happened too fast and no one was around. People do it all the time. People don't wait around to tell someone about a door ding.
We went in to shop, let it fester, came back out and started to drive home. Then we drove back to see if the door ding/dent was really as bad as we thought it was. It was. Somehow we managed to keep the 4-year-old out of the loop in spite of all of the questions. "Why are we going back to Target, Mommy?" (Enter cell phone and cool apps to babysit momentarily. Did I mention I wasn't trying to portray sainthood here?!) We drove off one more time. Yes we did. We drove off not once, not twice, but THREE times. Oh, geez. I'm embarrassed. Our thoughts were all over the place, but mostly centered around the fact that our washing machine is about to crap out and we have a $500 deductible and who can afford to pay for a door dent right now?! BUT we both knew what we needed to do. On our third trip back we wrote a note with our info, took a couple of pictures of the damage and got ready to head out for the fourth time. We both felt better. We knew we had the potential to teach our son the first of many lessons about doing the right thing even when it's hard. We wouldn't have to try to hide what we did from Graham behind some fun apps on the phone, but rather, explain to him fully what happened and what Mom and Dad chose to do about it. Who could put a price on that life lesson?
Before we left, the owner of the car showed up, so Chad got out and explained. He shared our insurance info and, of course, she was extremely grateful. Another Target patron saw what he did and stopped him and said "I can't believe you did that. Most people don't wait around. We had it happen to us recently." Of course, she didn't know that it took us 3 times and too much thinking to do the right thing. We left Target for the 4th time. We felt good. We also told ourselves stories like "karma will pay us back some day" and "maybe SHE has a washer that's about to crap out and she'll use our insurance money to buy a new washer instead of fix her door dent." Whatever. It doesn't matter. It was right. It felt good in the end. And now, I can look my son and my students in the face and say with conviction "good character is who you choose to be when no one is looking. And it's hard. The smallest tests are hard. The right choice is never the easy choice."
As the fine teacher, Mr. Steve Schilb says, "It's never too late to do the right thing." You didn't know you would make my blog post, did you, Mr. Schilb?!
Thanks for stopping by. And yes! Yes, I do feel better having turned to my ancient blog to vent once again. Peace to you. :)
1 comment:
I am proud of both of you.
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