Having Good Character is Hard

Look who's blogging!  It's been long enough that the whole format of blogger has changed.  Much friendlier, I must say!

Those who ever followed this blog (all 3 of you!) know that I only blog when something is weighing on my mind.  Broken legs, insomnia, etc.  Well...something is on my mind.  Character.  I consider myself a good person.  I want good things for the world.  I care about what happens to people.  I am the spokesperson for good character.  I tell my students "Doing the right thing is hard."  I share every example I can find proving that good character is doing the right thing even when you think no one is watching.

However,  I've had a couple of tiny tests of my character lately.  So far the score is  My Character: 2, The Easier Choice: 0.  I'm not bragging.  It was hard.  That's the point of this post.

char·ac·ter

ˈkariktər/

noun

1. 1.

   the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.

   "running away was not in keeping with her character"

   synonyms:

   personality, nature, disposition, temperament, temper, mentality,makeup; More
2. 2.

   a person in a novel, play, or movie.

   synonyms:

   persona, role, part; More

verb

archaic

1. 1.

   inscribe; engrave.

Test 1:  I ordered my dad an OU laptop bag for Christmas.  1 bag.  1 really cool OU laptop bag.  When the order arrived I was surprised to find one plastic bag containing 6 really cool OU laptop bags.  No invoice, no return shipping label.  Just 6 really cool OU laptop bags.  Immediately I thought of all of the other OU fans who would be getting an extra gift this year...my sister, my husband, my coworker, my extended family.  I DON'T EVEN LIKE OU.  But!  It was going to be a giant pain to contact the company, try to explain, get return information -- I might even have to pay out of my own pocket to get these extra bags shipped back.  And then, I looked at my sweet 4-year-old and I knew I could never look him in the eye and say "What would be the right thing to do?" ever, ever, ever and so I began trying to contact the company.  It took some extra effort on my part, but I did eventually get a return label from the company, made an extra trip to the post office and got those extra 5 bags shipped back.  Look, I told you it was a tiny test of character.  I realize I'm no saint, but again, the point is that doing the right thing is hard.

Test 2:  Chad and I were out today and, if you're anywhere near Dallas, TX, you know that it is ridiculously windy out.  Warm and windy.  Really, really, really windy.  We headed out on a quick Target run for stuff we didn't have to have today, but we all wanted out of the house and that's besides the point so anyway...after we parked, Chad went to open the door and the wind caught it.  The door hit the car next to us hard.  HARD.  It wasn't just a door ding, it was a door...vertical line in the shape of a Hyundai Santa Fe driver's side door ding.  Our first instinct (unfortunately) was to drive off and park elsewhere while we decided what to do.

No one would ever know.  It happened too fast and no one was around.  People do it all the time.  People don't wait around to tell someone about a door ding.

We went in to shop, let it fester, came back out and started to drive home.  Then we drove back to see if the door ding/dent was really as bad as we thought it was.  It was.  Somehow we managed to keep the 4-year-old out of the loop in spite of all of the questions.  "Why are we going back to Target, Mommy?"  (Enter cell phone and cool apps to babysit momentarily.  Did I mention I wasn't trying to portray sainthood here?!)  We drove off one more time.  Yes we did.  We drove off not once, not twice, but THREE times.  Oh, geez.  I'm embarrassed.  Our thoughts were all over the place, but mostly centered around the fact that our washing machine is about to crap out and we have a $500 deductible and who can afford to pay for a door dent right now?!  BUT we both knew what we needed to do.  On our third trip back we wrote a note with our info, took a couple of pictures of the damage and got ready to head out for the fourth time.  We both felt better.  We knew we had the potential to teach our son the first of many lessons about doing the right thing even when it's hard.  We wouldn't have to try to hide what we did from Graham behind some fun apps on the phone, but rather, explain to him fully what happened and what Mom and Dad chose to do about it.  Who could put a price on that life lesson?

Before we left, the owner of the car showed up, so Chad got out and explained.    He shared our insurance info and, of course, she was extremely grateful.  Another Target patron saw what he did and stopped him and said "I can't believe you did that.  Most people don't wait around.  We had it happen to us recently."  Of course, she didn't know that it took us 3 times and too much thinking to do the right thing.  We left Target for the 4th time.  We felt good.  We also told ourselves stories like "karma will pay us back some day" and "maybe SHE has a washer that's about to crap out and she'll use our insurance money to buy a new washer instead of fix her door dent."  Whatever.  It doesn't matter.  It was right.  It felt good in the end.  And now, I can look my son and my students in the face and say with conviction "good character is who you choose to be when no one is looking.  And it's hard.  The smallest tests are hard.  The right choice is never the easy choice."

As the fine teacher, Mr. Steve Schilb says, "It's never too late to do the right thing."  You didn't know you would make my blog post, did you, Mr. Schilb?!

Thanks for stopping by.  And yes!  Yes, I do feel better having turned to my ancient blog to vent once again.  Peace to you. :)

Insomnia Sucks

1:30 a.m. -- wake up.  no reason.  quiet house.
1:32 a.m. -- go back to sleep, go back to sleep, pleeeeeeeeaaase go back to sleep.
1:33 a.m. -- too late.  brain activated.  i wonder if i was too hard on so and so in my classroom yesterday.  how can i react differently today?  what else can i possibly do for this child. 
1:40 a.m. -- my kindle is just sitting right there.  i wonder if anyone played me back in wwf...nope.  oh, good rachel played draw something.
1:45 a.m. -- facebook.  what a time suck...perfect for insomnia.  i really should delete this account.  or clean up my friends list.  or do a better job of separating my personal account from my "professional" account. i wonder how much more i would get accomplished sans facebook.  lemme check one more time.  nope.  no new posts.
2:02 a.m. -- pinterest.  another time suck...yet somehow...more productive.  pin cool classroom ideas which might come to fruition...next year...may over the summer when i have so much time...lol.  funny girl. check out new recipes.  im kinda hungry.  no one eats at 2:00 a.m. unless it's a greasy breakfast at denny's after a bender.  no eating.  check out fitness board.  ab workout?  perhaps.
2:48 a.m. -- dark.  roll over.  shoulder still hurts from trying to be "cool mom" and show g how to do hand stands against a wall.  how did i get to the point of shoulder injuries from hand stands?  im old. 
2:52 a.m. -- fat cat is cleaning himself at the end of the bed.  the licking sound might do me in.
2:58 a.m. -- pee.  drink of water. 
3:04 a.m. -- back in bed. what am i going to say to so and so this morning to get us off to a good start?  i really should have submitted that scholastic book order yesterday.  i wonder if my team mate is feeling better.  i wonder who else is awake right now.
3:12 a.m. -- maybe i'll just go to bed early tonight.
3:14 a.m. -- ab workout seems doable.  i'm going to be tired tomorrow.  or amped up on no sleep.  i'll have time for a long shower.  maybe i'll shave my legs today.  maybe i'll wear a skirt.  naaah.
3:19 a.m. -- go back to sleep, go back to sleep, pleeeeeeeeeeeease go back to sleep. 
3:22 a.m. -- i need to run.  my brain needs to run.  i hate running in the dark.  i feel like a giant mountain lion is going to attack me out of nowhere the whole time.  except at christmas time.  running in the dark was peaceful then...lights.  maybe i'll run.
3:37 a.m. -- head to couch.  blogtherapy?  apparently.
4:12 a.m. -- wrap up blog.  tired.  not sleepy.  run. throw dinner in the crockpot.  long shower.  helllloooo wednesday!
 

Updates and Whatnots

October!  Apparently, life has been treating us very well or there certainly would have been a blogtherapy post much sooner than this.  Life is still treating us very well.  I was just on another blog which made me remember, "Oh, yeah!  I have a blog," which made me think "I really should update that thing."  So here we are.

Missouri 12-12: Bothwell Lodge

Since October, there have been a few noteworthy life events:  The Wylie East Raiders went three rounds into the playoffs.  It was so exciting!  Since then, Graham and I have adjusted nicely to having the coach in the house around a lot more.  Over the course of those 13 (?) football games, Graham developed quite the interest in "The Star Spangled Banner."  After listening to it online, at the games, and listening to Mommy sing it by request in the grocery store, car, throughout the house, he became quite good at singing (and conducting) it himself.

Preschool Holiday Party

Graham's preschool has had Halloween, Thanksgiving AND Christmas parties.  I was able to make the short little hop, skip and jump over to his school to be there for every one of them.  Seriously blessed in this "working mom" department.  Love, love, love, (love, love) that I am so close to him during the day.  When I pick him up I always say "I missed you today," to which G replies "Why, Mommy, your school is just right next door."

Preschool Halloween Parade through the elementary school

We had super holiday fun.  We made it up to Missouri for the first time over the holidays since before Graham was born.  It was really great to see my whole family...siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, parents, and good friends.  Plus it snowed on our last day in town which meant some serious snowman-making and sledding business.  It was the perfect way to end the perfect trip home.

Today, Graham and I are out of school (MLK, Jr. Day), however Chad had to go in for a work day.  So, I am pretending I'm a stay at home mom just for the day.  Graham and I played in our p.j.'s, he helped me with laundry, we got his hair cut, ran the car to the gas station and through the car wash, met Dad for lunch, swung by the library, ("Mom, you know what we totally should do? We should totally go to the library today." Totally.) and now...quiet time.  Blog time.  Avoid the stacks of school work in the bag I haven't opened for 3 days time.

Next up, a nice little mid-winter get away to Great Wolf Lodge in February courtesy of Papa Richard and Nana, rocking and rolling on some home improvement projects (first up, yanking shrubs and landscaping out front), and spring!  It's just around the corner down here.  In fact, while G was napping yesterday, Chad, Scraps and I took full advantage of the near 70 degree weather to visit and soak up some sunshine.

Well, that was a nice little distraction.  I just spent a full hour weeding through 3 months worth of photographs just to deliver this little update.  FINE I'll tackle that school work now.  Fine.  I'm doing it. Right now.  Wait...I haven't checked out Facebook or Pinterest lately...

Heart Pangs

 Last weekend marked our 2nd Pumpkin Patch trip except this time we got to enjoy the fun with Cousin Paisley.  Graham had been saving a sheet of Halloween stickers for her for about 3 weeks and he wrote about her on one of his pieces of art in school the other day so I'm so glad we were able to get a Paisley fix!  Graham talks about her every night as in "Mom, maybe Paisley can come to my house and we will _______" (fill in the blank).

 We have (just about) moved on from broken leg blog posts.  Graham is running everywhere.  I'm annoying him and anyone within earshot with my little heart attacks every time he stumbles or falls.  I can't help it.  That may not ever go away.  His good leg is still noticeably longer than the other leg.  Well...noticeable when I make him lay on his back while I stretch his legs out in front of me.  Keeping faith that that will resolve just like the dr. said it would.

 It is inevitable that every time I upload new pictures, I have to scroll back through a bazillion old pictures.  I started having little heart pangs at how much Graham has grown and changed in recent months.  He comes home from school saying thing like "Mom, this is going to be so cool."  or  "Mom, that's boring." What?!  I can handle "cool" and "awesome".  "Boring" has to go, though.  He's reading the words like "no," "my," "see," and "go."  He reads every "No Parking Fire Lane" sign to me.  He's reading.  What is up with that?  I should be ecstatic, and I am but I'm. not. ready. for. this!

 It's so challenging to savor all of the precious little moments while also going about the busy business of living life.  Things start to change without my permission.  What am I going to do when he is no longer interested in pulling up a chair to help me cook in the kitchen?  in singing "The Farmer and the Dell" at the top of his lungs on the way to preschool?  in snuggling me in his glow-in-the-dark monster p.j.'s first thing in the morning? in going to pick out big, medium, and small pumpkins at the pumpkin patch?  Oh, groan.  These thoughts make my heart hurt.

 And then...deep breaths...live in the moment.  I've dreaded change at every stage.  I've had little weepy moments every time I pack up outgrown clothes and, yet, found each new stage more wonderful than the last.  I can do this.  He's only three.  I've still got a few good years of punkin' patchin' left.  I think.

Watch out!  Spiderman will be making an appearance next week!

October Fun

We are finally ready to have some fall fun around here!  Graham went for his FINAL doctor's visit last week and has been given the clear for all normal activities again.  Except trampolines.  She doesn't ever give the clear for trampolines..even for kids who have never broken a bone based on what she sees in her office.  Works for me.  I have no problem saying no to trampolines.  Or to chasing balls rolling down driveways.

Anyway, Graham is RUNNING everywhere he goes.  He still has a very slight hitch in his giddy up but we expect all of that to resolve over the next few weeks.  It does not slow him down a bit.

Since we were able to steal Daddy away from the office, we decided to make an afternoon of it and spend some family time at the Flower Mound Pumpkin Patch and have dinner with some old neighbor friends.  Good times back in the old 'hood!

Today, we're getting our normal Saturday afternoon with Dad so we're heading to the Richardson Pumpkin patch to meet Cousin Paisley and do it all again.  It is gorgeous outside.  80 degrees and not a cloud in the sky.

Fall is so much more fun than the end of summer was.  In the 100+degree heat.  In a body cast.  Whoo hoo!  Time to turn a new leaf and change our outlook with the changing season and any other clever but appropriate cliche you can think of!

Balance

I've learned, being a working mom, that life is about balance.  Balancing giving 110% to a job and students I love, being a supportive coach's wife, and being the best Mommy that I promised I would be before Graham was ever conceived.  Most of the time, I can do all three really, really well.  I'm not bragging.  It's an art that I am constantly perfecting.  There are also times when I fail in one department or the other.  I'm constantly tweaking, adjusting, undoing, redoing, and perfecting.

So, yesterday when I decided to take another day off to be with my boy, it wasn't a decision I made easily.  It meant being out of the classroom another day which, meant another day of less than optimal learning for my students.  It's a sub.  You know how things go when there's a sub in the room.  All of that being said to make the point that I made the right decision and I have cherished every single second with G-Man today.  Balance.  The scales most definitely needed to tilt towards "Mommy" this week.

It is noteworthy, first, that Graham slept in his bed last night without Mommy for the first time in 6 weeks.  He did not make a peep.  When he woke up, he was signing a happy little song to himself and was all smiles when I went to snuggle him.  He was a little stiff, but so ready to start his day!

We started with another bubble bath, then got dressed and took a walk.  He wanted to ride in his old stroller instead of the one we borrowed while he was in his cast.  I think that leg was happy to see sunshine!

We walked over and fed the ducks, then decided to check out the park where we'd spent so much time before the accident.  He and I got back on the old rocket and he picked up like we'd never stopped playing there. "What do you see, Mommy?  I see an asteroid!  Quick!  Turn left!"

After the lunch, I gave Graham the choice of choosing new books at the library or going to "The Orange Store" (Home Depot) to get flowers.  He wanted to go to the drive through book drop and drop off the old books, then to the Orange Store.  This was his first time in anything but his stroller.  We had so much fun!  We picked out a toilet seat (the one in his bathroom got really scratched up because of the cast) and several pots of mums that he picked out.

Then it was time for naps.  I tucked him in and said "You just call me if you need me.  I'll be right here." He replied, "Okay, Mommy.  You just come in here if you need me, okay?"  Melt. My. Heart.  Our next plan is more playing, and digging in the dirt.  He's going to put on his gloves and help me get those mums planted.

Tomorrow, his Grandma Emie and Papa John will stay home with him and it's back to work for me.  Balance. :)

He's Baaaaack!

Today was the big day!  Here's the before shot at the Dr.'s office while we were waiting for what seemed like an eternity for the Dr. to give us the "go ahead" to get the cast removed.  We'd already had X-rays at this point.  His leg still looks broken to us in the x-rays, but doc reassures us that there's great new bone growth around the break.

Then, it was off to the casting room (decasting room?) where G was so brave.  The saw was loud and he did fine until she got that saw close to his nether regions.  That set him off a bit.  And really, the scariest part was when both legs were fully out and he had to hold up his leg for the first time.  It felt really funny to him.

It's Loud

Shedding the Exoskeleton

Both legs out! 

When we got home, Graham and I took a bubble bath and scrubbed body parts that hadn't seen soap in 6 weeks.  We scrubbed off a lot of dead skin, then drained the tub and did it again.  G let his leg go all over the place in the bathtub without realizing it.  That was reassuring to me because he was not in any pain.

He took a great nap by himself in his bed today.  I peeked in on him and he was all comfy laying on his stomach like old times.  Hoping he does as well on his own tonight.  It will be crazy crawling into my own bed tonight!

He's mostly doing a crawl right now that kind of drags the WIP leg behind.  He stood up once out of no where and pulled himself up on the couch.  He was as surprised as we were after he did it.   He and his daddy "walk" together.  I will try to get that video uploaded in a bit!  It's pretty rough looking, but he's doing it!

The best part of all of this is how happy Graham has been.  He's been a trooper through the whole ordeal so we didn't even realize how unhappy he was until we saw him truly happy again today.  He has been all smiles, scooting all over the house, and we even sat at the dinner table as a family tonight where he did not hold back on the entertainment.

Graham and I will stay home again tomorrow.  Hopefully we can do more standing and assisted walking tomorrow.  Little bits at a time.  We go back to the Dr. in 4 weeks to make sure he's okay to be released to play at recess.  Baby steps!  Literally!  Happy days. :)